How to overcome your insecurities

First reactions are not taken into account since they are the least significant, which is one of the most crucial things to learn about human dynamics. There are three factors that affect a person's initial impression of you:

  1. their preexisting worldview and life experiences. You have nothing to do with these things. (This might be anything; perhaps their ex-girlfriend had the same haircut as you, or you remind them of a college instructor they loathed.)
  2. What kind of day are they experiencing right now—good or bad? Someone will either be more likely to ignore you or be more receptive to you as a result of this.
  3. YOU: So only one of three things—not you—determines how someone will respond. It is advisable to not pay too much attention to that response because there is no way to know or measure what it signifies. What counts is how we respond to their actions.

Consider a woman who is six feet, three inches tall and is accustomed to experiencing discomfort because she is taller than most males. The next time someone comments, "My God, you're tall!" you choose to appear at ease and confident rather than feeling self-conscious and sorry by answering, "I know! I love that from up here, I can see everything. By doing this, the guy will perceive what would have been a bad trait as a favorable one after observing that you are unaffected by the comment.

Our insecurities lose control over us when we accept even our flaws.

Everyone Is Carrying Bags

Our lives become more fulfilling as we age. We occasionally delude ourselves that our past may alienate a prospective companion. Similar to how we could feel self-conscious about our appearance, we might also feel ashamed of or unsure of some of the life experiences that have shaped who we are. This is not only unneeded, but our prior experiences are what help us develop character depth. Bitterness is the sole regret or turn-off. The remainder is what makes up life.


There isn't such a thing as the ideal age. When you're twenty-one, you worry that a thirty-year-old may consider you to be young and immature. You worry that a date will think you are past your prime at the age of forty-one. Age actually doesn't matter much when it comes to attraction.

Attraction is not logical; it is emotional. Some men will claim they are exclusively interested in older or younger women, but what they really want is irrelevant. We've known a lot of gentlemen who wed women who weren't even close to the age range they said they desired.

Your previous relationships

Perhaps you've been in a streak of failed relationships. Maybe you go on a date for a year or two before moving on for different reasons. You may have experienced marriage, divorce, and perhaps multiple divorces.

Men are much less interested in the specifics of the past than most women think. It is more important to focus on where you are going than where you have been or what lessons your past may have taught you along the road. A sour or cynical attitude, which conveys to others that you have not yet emotionally distanced yourself from another relationship, is generally met with negative reactions. The most crucial thing is to continue forward with optimism and hope. Your incessant complaining about how all men or all women are unfaithful makes a new date less interested in you than the fact that your ex cheated on you.

Delete the past. We hobble ourselves and a possible new connection from the outset when we're afraid of messing up or getting wounded.

Your Weaknesses

Beauty truly depends on the person who sees it. A date will view our flaws the same way if we are at ease with them and see them as an exciting aspect of who we are as a whole. When someone is drawn to you, their flaws stop being annoying and start being valued.

In this regard, men and women are alike: we're all looking for someone who possesses a special combination of traits that set him or her apart from everyone else. When a man finds a lady like this, her flaws on the outside are irrelevant. No man has ever encountered a lady who instantly melts his heart and made him think, "Wow, she's the perfect woman for me." If only her hips and teeth were a bit more proportionate. Well, whatever, let's continue.

Everyone has encountered someone who, although not having a particularly attractive appearance, commands every space she enters. She is surrounded by guests at a party who are vying for her attention. Everyone enjoys being around her and looks to her for approval. She has a magnetic personality and is funny. She makes grand movements, isn't afraid to occupy space, and makes others feel comfortable around her. She feels at ease in her own skin. She attracts our attention due to her personality rather than her appearance. 

The culmination of all these traits, combined in a certain way to provide your own special blend of attraction, is charisma.